Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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