do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize