were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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