my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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