Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize