And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
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You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
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Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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