I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just want nice things and good sex
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize