he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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