I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize