I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I party with great urgency now.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize