dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
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It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
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All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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