Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Is it because I queefed?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
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