I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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