How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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