their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
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Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize