So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
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He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
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Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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