okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize