It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize