I faked an abortion last night.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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