There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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