I'm drive I can fine osifer
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize