Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize