Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
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gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
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I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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