Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize