she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
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He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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