eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
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The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
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BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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