By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
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Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
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I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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