had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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