we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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