Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
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She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
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we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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