My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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