Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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