I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just want to make out with him forever
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize