I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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