I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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