And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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