Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize