Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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