just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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