Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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