i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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