Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize