It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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