whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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