I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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