I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
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I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
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I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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