I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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