she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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