Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize