he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize